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March 16, 2010

To do:
talk to Ara
reinstall virtual windows machine
fix ubuntu mount problem
find awesome linux website
return gen chem book
mail pf contract
generate new table of fit constants
predict location of P1 from fit constants
see if it makes sense

redigitize P1
organize grilling with everyone
get something done on orals
take apart and reassemble my mp3 player to get the piece of headphone jack out of it
email data table to Ara

huh. So I’ve been reading this new blog, which may get added to the blogroll, called The Fat Nutritionist. And she has a wonderful quote in this post:

But, as it turns out, this morning I figured out what purpose this paralysis serves. And its purpose, apparently, is to 1) protect me from the scary, scary thing, but more importantly, 2) to act as a signal that I have lost touch with my intrinsic motivation to do whatever that thing is.

I love it. The rest of the post is fantastic too (and if you go to her blog, check out the post “If only poor people understood nutrition” – totally different topic, but also a fantastic post). That’s the thing I do: I lose track of why I’m doing something. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last couple weeks talking with prospective grad students and thinking about what to tell them. I tell them basically that grad school is hard, it quite honestly sucks ass at times, but you’re there because you love it. And if you really love it, if you really have good motivation to be there, then pick the right one, the one where you can get the support you need to graduate. I’ve been thinking so much about picking a school that has a culture that works for you that I’ve been forgetting the other half of my own message: you’re here because you love it. I’m spending all this time and all this energy flipping out about orals, and frequently forgetting why it is that I want to do orals anyway. That it’s a degree requirement to this degree that I crave, that it’s teaching me a lot, that it’s opened my eyes to some awesome ideas and I want to learn more, that it’s giving me confidence in myself.

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