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in response

May 10, 2009

In response to Katie’s recent entry:  http://fledermauskid.livejournal.com/134965.html

Wow, ten years ago.

I had almost no friends.  It would still be two years before I’d start meeting people ‘like me’ enough to really connect with, the eccentric nerdy type with a certain disregard for ‘how people ought to behave’.

I got a D on a math test, resulting in a C on a report card, and I vowed to get straight A’s ’til graduation.  It worked.

I figured out how very attractive boys were.

I also figured out that guinea pigs are the best medicine for excess emotion.  They never say the wrong thing, they’re always available to cuddle with, and they do make you feel better.

I was reading constantly, mostly Anne McCaffrey.

Ten years ago I was figuring out who I was, but without any social support to affirm that it was okay to be that way, so I still felt pretty lost.  Ten years ago I knew I liked to read and to learn.  I knew I liked being an odd duck.  I just didn’t know anyone else like me, so I didn’t realize that I was just fine.

The thing that blows me away about Katie’s entry: the end of it.  Speaking of ten years from now, "I’ll probably have a couple of kids".  !!!! You can just say that in passing?  Of course, you’ve spent more time thinking about that, but still.  It blows me away to realize we’re getting there.  Friends are starting to get married.  Suddenly kids and houses and all that seem so very close.  Can’t believe that in ten years I’ll be one of those grown up types, that the wild rambles of my twenties will be over, replaced with dipers and morgages.
Very strange indeed.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. May 11, 2009 3:23 pm

    I certainly hope I’ll have a couple of kids by then!
    Kids and houses and all that seem like a dream to me. Like I’ve said before, I don’t want to live my 20s. I want to skip straight to my 30s. But that isn’t exactly socially acceptable. I’ve been ready to have kids since I left high school. I’m glad I haven’t yet, but I wish I could just be 30 and wearing mom jeans with baby puke down my back.
    20s are awful, terrible times, where you don’t have a family anymore. They’re a chance, true, to get out there and do something exciting with your life, something that means something…but I haven’t done a great job of that, either.
    Sign me up for 33, please.
    As to comments on ten years ago…
    I think I had a very different ten years ago than you did. I was an odd duck, but I forced the odd duckness out of my friends, so I wouldn’t be alone in it. I was lucky to have them. What I didn’t realize was that I was not just fine, at least in the eyes of others. I just was me, without understanding that socially, I was murdering myself. I never tried to be “weird”, nor did I try to be “normal”. I was under the misguided impression that being yourself was the best thing to do. High school struck, and I was barely spoken to. So I sort of went backwards from you. Okay with being me, and then learning that it was NOT okay to be me. Ten years ago, I was beginning to climb out of my shy little shell, but then 9 1/2 years ago, I raced right back into it.

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