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contentedly unhappy

August 27, 2008

It’s an interesting thing to be pretty much miserable but content about it.  Coughing last night at rehearsal did no favors for my throat, and I woke up hardly able to swallow.  My whole body is sore and my nose stuffy.  I’ve been sleeping very heavy but waking up tired.  Several times a day the reality of Rosin’s death hits me, usually over something simple like realizing that I’ve feed Zinc the amount of lettuce for two pigs and that’s twice what he needs.  To top it off, Erik’s out of town and very busy at a conference, so my usual method of being cheered up is gone.
Thing is, I know it’s all temporary.  The cold will go away.  The grief will pass and I’ll start feeling better.  And Erik will be home before too long, so even if the other two cures take their time I can always get a hug from him.  I’m basically miserable right now, but I know it will all go away, so I’m just moving through each day, eating excessive amounts of chocolate, and remembering to smile, even if it’s only ironically at how pitiful I’ve been lately.

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