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Impatient

February 4, 2008

I’m impatient in my acquisition of knowledge, so impatient that some times it ends up depressing me.
I attend a seminar each week through the Chemical Bonding Center (CBC). A large portion of these focus on plasmonics and spectroscopy, specifically on combining the two, which is what I’m looking into researching (and hence why I’m at the lectures). I’ve gotten to the point now where I actually know something – I can understand just about all the words they use. While quite an accomplishment, I still can’t string them together into coherent thoughts and understand what the heck the presenter is talking about. I can’t understand why they reached the conclusions they did, or why they chose the next step. The results slides fly by so fast I’m usually only halfway through reading them before we’re on to the next one.
I’m impatient. I want to understand these things. These aren’t text books I can come back to. These are lectures and not likely to be repeated. Yes, there will be others, but I want to know the content of them all! There are so many subjects I want to know, and I want to know them all yesterday. Solid state, E&M, relativity, spectroscopy, four hundred more years of quantum, I want it all now. Why does it take so long to learn every thing? Can’t I just download my advisor’s brain into mine?
Some days it inspires me, how much left there is to learn. Some days I come home from seminar excited to do another day of homework, simply to be getting one night closer to actually feeling like I know something. Not so much today. Might be the fact that my quantum prof told us A. we’re dumb and bombed our test, and B. we have to take it again Friday. Because I didn’t have enough to do, I’m now really excited to spend the next week learning new material for his class and studying the old stuff. Oi. Today I just want to sleep. Some day, though, I’ll know all that stuff I want to learn, and then hopefully this won’t happen.
Anyway, I’m off to get some reading done.

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