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from Groove

January 24, 2008

In a recent blog entry Adam writes:
“Gay relationships are more competitive than straight relationships, because in a straight relationship there’s no gender to prove.” (emphasis mine)
Hah. I’m not saying that gays aren’t more competitive than straights, but the second clause I take objection to, and I think a lot of people would agree. Many girls (I believe) feel the need to prove that they are not helpless females, and to assert that they can wear the pants sometimes also. In turn, this leads many guys to have to either over-compensate or accept their loose of ‘masculinity’, where here so many people equate masculinity as power. Just read a random Newsweek or whatnot about how men have to learn to cope if their wives make more, and how some of those wives leave because of the pay gap. I guess what I’m saying is that a straight relationship doesn’t so much prove gender as it does redefine gender roles and force a confrontation with everyone’s innate sexism.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 25, 2008 4:50 pm

    Yeah, innate sexism is a bitch.
    In my opinion, a stay-at-home mom has a very difficult job that can’t be done by just anybody and should not equate her with being weak. We all know this, but we all keep ignoring it. Everyone who had a mom who stayed home understands how much hell that person went through every day, only to have to end the day listening to their husband talk about how horrible HIS day was, like his job is so much more stressful.
    Anyway, I’m just sore about that issue because I really believe I am a strong person and I also have a great desire to be a stay-at-home mom if it is possible (at least when my kids are little before real school). I don’t like equating the “feminine” role in that regard as the “weaker” role.
    Sorry for the brief rant. I’ve been berated too many times for voicing my hopes to stay at home with my kids. I’ve been told that I am betraying the feminist movement that all women should try to uphold and some nonsense like that.
    What we really need to do is stop associating traditional feminine roles with “weakness” and start giving them the credit they deserve. “Weak” sort of implies unimportant, or something that could be done by any random person. There are a lot of feminine roles that are ridiculously important. And I think everyone knows that raising kids should not just be done by any random person.
    (And why can’t the father be stay-at-home without being chewed out for it? If people gave that role the credit they should, no man would be laughed at for it. Sigh.)
    (I wish I could be less sexist…)

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