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Peer pressure

September 20, 2007

What an interesting thing, peer pressure. It’s fascinating to be learning things that I got told at eighteen, but didn’t listen to because I didn’t drink then. I learned to drink in a totally safe environment which I miss so much now. The people I was with were as nervous about drinking (especially underage) as I was, and so we were allowed to drink exactly as much as we wanted. They also knew me and loved me for exactly who I was, and therefore I didn’t have to worry about becoming uninhibited while drunk. We danced and sang and were for the most part free from social pressures.
Then there’s grad school. I’m finally getting to go to those “house parties” which I always sorta wanted to attend but was never brave enough to actually go to. I can get drunk around random people, and if I keep going this way do all sorts of stupid things with all sorts of people. In two short months I’ve already amassed quite the list of dumb alcohol-induced things. People here are a lot different. Most of them really don’t know me yet, and most are much more judgmental than my friends at home. Am I wrong for saying that I find guys more judgmental than girls? I’m trying to make various impressions on various people, one of which is that I can hold my alcohol even if I don’t drink, which results in me drunkenly saying lots of things that sound really dumb in my head the next day. Dunno if people though they were so dumb at the time. I’m trying to impress people while drinking, whereas at home I could just relax.
I’m learning a lot about the types of drinkers. Those that will never stop being eighteen. Those that are drinking to forget something. Those that I just don’t understand. These are people who I saw in the dorms, and was aware of, but suddenly I’m facing pressure from them to be and do certain things which I haven’t a clue if they’re okay because I’m drunk at the time. Then there are the people I should be listening to, those who head home early, or only have a few. Those who have learned the self control to know when to drink a lot, and somehow manage to not give a f*ck what everyone else thinks of them.
Yeah I miss drinking at home. I think maybe I could get a group like that together again, but it’d take some work. Dunno if I’ve found the right people yet. I guess I felt like I’d move out here and a best friend would fall in my lap, like the last one did, right when I needed her. So far there’s a few who might, but no one yet. Oh well. I’m home while half the class is drinking because I’m bored of drinking on school nights. I’ve got mac and cheese and the Hobbit, so life is good.

Out on the road today I saw a dead head sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said don’t look back you can never look back

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 21, 2007 1:29 pm

    I don’t drink when I have to work the next day, so I always refuse an invite on those nights.
    I really don’t care if people whine at me to go and say I never show up when they ask me to.
    If they paid attention, they’d know I was always there 2 years ago, but priorities change.
    What you need to do, is find a gay party.
    Those are the crazy drinkers.
    And not the classy gay parties.
    The raucous crazy drunk parties, with beer, liquor, keg stands…I usually only knew one or two people, but give me a couple drinks and I’ll walk right up to ya and start talking…which wasn’t always good, cause I usually ended spending the night with them.
    But you have your fun, then you get over it.
    And it’s a nice thing to learn, because I call it “damage control.”
    You lose a bit of your embarrassment when you have to call people, or call the new numbers in your phone that you don’t remember adding and find out what you did.
    That’s easier to do when you’re 19 and 20, though if you act it, no one will notice you’re not. :-D

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