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Matt had senior night tonight

May 20, 2006

Matt’s class song is “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. Did I ever write down that moment?
In October, three days before life went crazy, we went to buy pumpkins, and then to the mall. Katie was driving, Julie in the passenger seat, and in the back it was Marcie, then Yin, then myself. We all owed Yin a dollar for Cameron’s pumpkin, I believe, and Marcie and I made a show of sticking them in his waistband. As we pulled into the mall, that song came on, and we all started belting it out. We sat in the car, in the parking space, enjoying that one moment.
It’s something I hope I never forget. It made me pause to see that listed on the program, but life moves on. I’m glad that I have the friends from that moment.

I’m home now, in Adrian. Matt graduates tomorrow, so Adam flew in from Florida. Pat and Emily drove down from Kzoo, and of course my pigs are here, so my parents are dealing with a very full house. Went to the regional track meet today, but Matt didn’t get to run, which was sad. Haven’t really done much else, except get nostalgic. Graduations do that to me. Watch out for a year from now, when I face that hurdle again.

I miss being in a competitive group. Back running track and cross, and being in orchestra, it wasn’t as cohesive as it could have been, but it was one group, pulling together and working towards a common goal. We watched “Remember the Titans” today, and there’s a spirit in that sort of movie that I miss being a part of. I suppose it’s some animal instinct, going back to prehistoric times blah blah blah that’s not important. What’s important is that it is an amazing feeling to be a part of a group that is defined as a unit, and push yourself and that group to overcome the obstacle set in front of you. I dunno, I can’t figure out how to word this without sounding too hokey. It’s bigger than the sum of it’s parts. It’s why so many people go to Big House football games, even if they don’t particularly like football. It’s powerful to be in a group working for something. The two groups I belong to, my family and my friends at school, we’re not fighting something, we’re just living. Sometimes it feels not enough.

I’ve been hermitish lately, and contemplating becoming nocturnal, as I work better at night anyway. I think it’s doing strange things to my head, as I’ve been feeling odd lately. We’ll see if it’s a good-odd or a bad-odd later.

There are two friends who I guess I should be labeling as ‘former-friends’. To Mike, and to Jessica, I’m sorry that the closeness we once had is gone. I’m sorry for anything I did to make it happen. You were very important people to me, and I wish that didn’t have to change.

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