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September 14, 2005

okay this vies for Dumbest Email Ever Recieved:

Parents of 15-year-old find 71,000 dollars hidden in his closet!

PARENTS OF 15 – YEAR – OLD FIND $71,000 CASH HIDDEN IN HIS
CLOSET!

Does this national headline look familiar? Of course it does.

You most likely have seen this story featured on a
major nightly news program (USA) and reported elsewhere
in the world. His mother was cleaning and putting laundry
away when she came across a large brown paper bag that was
suspiciously buried beneath some clothes and a skateboard
in the back of her 15-year-old son’s closet.

Nothing could have prepared her for the shock she got when
she opened the bag and found it was full of cash.
Five-dollar bills, twenties, fifties and hundreds – all
neatly rubber-banded in labeled piles.

“My first thought was that he had robbed a bank”, says the
41-year-old woman, “There was over $71,000 dollars in that
bag – that’s more than my husband earns in a year”.

The woman immediately called her husband at the
car-dealership where he worked to tell him what she had
discovered. He came home right away and they drove together
to the boys’ school and picked him up. Little did they
suspect that where the money came from was more shocking
than actually finding it in the closet.

As it turns out, the boy had been sending out, via E-mail
a type of “Report” to E-mail addresses that he obtained off
the Internet. Everyday after school for the past 2 months
he had been doing this right on his computer in his
bedroom.

“I just got the E-mail one day and I figured what the heck,
I put my name on it like the instructions said and I
started sending it out”, says the clever 15-year-old.

The E-mail letter listed 5 addresses and contained
instructions to send one $5 dollar bill to each person on
the list, then delete the address at the top and move the
others addresses Down, and finally to add your name to the
top of the list.

The letter goes on to state that you would receive several
thousand dollars in five-dollar bills within 2 weeks if you
sent out the letter with your name at the top of the
5-address list. “I get junk E-mail all the time, and really
did not think it was going to work”, the boy continues.

Within the first few days of sending out the E-mail, the
Post Office Box that his parents had gotten him for his
video-game magazine subscriptions began to fill up with not
magazines, but envelopes containing $5 bills.

“About a week later I rode [my bike] down to the post
office and my box had 1 magazine and about 300 envelops
stuffed in it. There was also a yellow slip that said I had
to go up to the [post office] counter.

I thought I was in trouble or something (laughs)”. He goes
on, “I went up to the counter and they had a whole box of
more mail for me. I had to ride back home and empty out my
backpack because I could not carry it all”.

Over the next few weeks, the boy continued sending out the
E-mail. “The money just kept coming in and I just kept
sorting it and stashing it in the closet, barely had time
for my homework”. He had also been riding his bike to
several of the banks in his area and exchanging the $5
bills for twenties, fifties and hundreds.

“I didn’t want the banks to get suspicious so I kept riding
to different banks with like five thousand at a time in my
backpack. I would usually tell the lady at the bank counter
that my dad had sent me in to exchange the money and he was
outside waiting for me. One time the lady gave me a really
strange look and told me that she would not be able to do
it for me and my dad would have to come in and do it, but I
just rode to the next bank down the street (laughs).”

Surprisingly, the boy did not have any reason to be afraid.
The reporting news team examined and investigated the
so-called “chain-letter” the boy was sending out and found
that it was not a chain-letter at all. In fact, it was
completely legal according to US Postal and Lottery Laws,
Title 18, Section 1302 and 1341, or Title 18, Section 3005
in the US code, also in the code of federal regulations,
Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which state a product or
service must be exchanged for money received.

Every five-dollar bill that he received contained a little
note that read, “Please send me report number XYX”. This
simple note made the letter legal because he was exchanging
a service (A Report on how-to) for a five-dollar fee.

[This is the end of the media release. If you would like to
understand how the system works and get your $71,000 –
please continue reading. What appears below is what the 15
year old was sending out on the net – YOU CAN USE IT TOO –
just follow the simple instructions].

Read Everything I have to say, and You Will Become RICH off your Ass!!!

The Cycle of Wealth: By Alex Fradkin

Imagine if everyone in the world was rich. Great Idea right? Not possible? Mmm…

The money-making idea im about to talk about is something you might have heard of before. But I don’t think that its been explained properly in the emails you may have received about it or even when other people explained it to you. In fact, I myself had to sit down with one of my friend’s dads, the Vice Presidents of Deloitte Accounting, and explain to him how I interpreted it and wait for him to think about it on his own before he agreed with me. We BOTH agreed that it works. That it has the potential to be one of the most genius money-making ideas ever created. The term we came up with for this idea was “THE CYCLE OF WEALTH.”

A few years ago, CEO Steve Ballmer wanted to show how a bull (when prices are going up and the nation is booming) stock market really works. He created a website where he made an artificial stock, named X. X would sell for say 2 dollars a share, and a person could only buy say 10,000 shares at a time. However, the person could then immediately sell the stock at 2 dollars MORE than what he bought it for (i.e. 4 dollars) and then the guy who bought it for 4 would sell it for 6 and then the next guy for 8…etc. Everyone would profit…The example was to show that even a stock that stood for nothing could make people money in a bull-market where everything is booming and increasing in value. The stock stood for nothing, yet made people money.

Now read this email that I came across a few days ago…

——————————————————-

Dear Friend:

This is an improved version of a highly successful
marketing program that will make you many thousands of $ in
the next few months. The new features – a software program
for extracting E-mail addresses and over 2,000 URL of
bulletin boards, plus links to other many thousands of
places where such addresses can be extracted – ALL FREE.
Take advantage of these new marketing tools and become rich
fast. Please, read carefully the entire message below and
enroll today.

“Making over half million dollars every 4 to 5 months from
your home for an investment of only $25 U.S. Dollars
expense one time”.

THANKS TO THE COMPUTER AGE AND THE INTERNET!
———————————————————————————–
Be a millionaire like others within a year!

Before you say “Bull”, please read the following.
This is the letter you have been hearing about on the news
lately. Due to the popularity of this letter on the
internet, a national weekly news program recently devoted
an entire show to the investigation of this program
described below, to see if it really can make people money.

The show also investigated whether or not the program was
legal. Their findings proved once and for all that there are
“absolutely no laws prohibiting the participation in the
program and if people can follow the simple instructions,
they are bound to make some mega bucks with only $25 out of
pocket cost”.

DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT
THIS PROGRAM HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER
THAN EVER.

This is what one had to say:

“Thanks to this profitable opportunity. I was approached
many times before but each time I passed on it. I am so
glad I finally joined just to see what one could expect in
return for the minimal effort and money required. To my
astonishment, I received total $610,470.00 in 21 weeks,
with money still coming in”.
Pam Hedland, Fort Lee, New Jersey.
——————————————————-
Here is another testimonial:
“This program has been around for a long time but I never
believed in it. But one day when I received this again in
the mail I decided to gamble my $25 on it. I followed the
simple instructions and walaa ….. 3 weeks later the money
started to come in. First month I only made $240.00 but the
next 2 months after that I made a total of $290,000.00. So
far, in the past 8 months by re-entering the program, I
have made over $710,000.00 and I am playing it again.
The key to success in this program is to follow the simple
steps and NOT change anything.

More testimonials later but first,

—- PRINT THIS NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE —-

————————————————————————————
If you would like to make at least $500,000 every 4 to 5
months easily and comfortably, please read the following
…THEN READ IT AGAIN and AGAIN!!!

————————————————————————————
Follow the simple instructions below and you’re financial
dreams will come true!

INSTRUCTIONS:

**** Request all 5 reports shown on the list below.

**** For each report, send $5 CASH, the name & number of
the report you are requesting and your E-mail address to the
person whose name appears on the list next to that report number.
Make sure your RETURN ADDRESS is on your envelope top left corner
in case of any mail problems.

**** When you place your order, make sure you request each of
the 5 reports. You will need all 5 reports so that you can
save them on your computer and resell them. YOUR TOTAL COST
$5 X 5 = $25.00.

**** Within a few days you will receive, via e-mail, each
of the 5 reports from these 5 different individuals. Save
them on your computer so they will be accessible for you to
send to the 1,000’s of people who will order them from you.
Also make a floppy of these reports and keep it on your
desk in case something happen to your computer.

****IMPORTANT – DO NOT alter the names of the people who
are listed next to each report, or their sequence on the
list, in any way other than what is instructed below in
steps 1 through 6 or you will loose out on majority of your
profits. Once you understand the way this works, you will
also see how it does not work if you change it.

Remember, this method has been tested, and if you alter it,
it will NOT work!!!

People have tried to put their friends/relatives names on
all five thinking they could get all the money. But it does
not work this way. Believe us, we all have tried to be
greedy and then nothing happened.

So Do Not change anything other than what is
instructed. Because if you do, it will not work for you.
Remember, honesty reaps the reward!!!

1.. After you have sent for all 5 reports, take this
advertisement and REMOVE the name & address of the person
in REPORT # 5. This person has made it through the cycle
and is no doubt counting their fortune.

2…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 4 down TO
REPORT # 5.
3…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 3 down TO
REPORT # 4.
4…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 2 down TO
REPORT # 3.
5…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 1 down TO
REPORT # 2
6…. Insert YOUR name & address in the REPORT # 1
Position.
PLEASE MAKE SURE you copy every name & address
ACCURATELY!
————————————————————————————–
Take this entire letter, with the modified list of names,
and save it on your computer. DO NOT MAKE ANY OTHER
CHANGES. Save this on a disk as well just in case if you
loose any data.

To assist you with marketing your business on the Internet,
the 5 reports you purchase will provide you with invaluable
information which includes how to send bulk
e-mails legally, where to find thousands of free classified
ads and much more.

There are 2 Primary methods to get this venture going:

METHOD # 1: BY SENDING BULK E-MAIL LEGALLY
——————————————————————————-
Let’s say that you decide to start small, just to see how
it goes, and we will assume You and those involved send out
only 5,000 e-mails each.
————————————————————————————————————
Now with the software program which you will receive for
FREE when report # 1 arrives, it will be easier than ever to
collect fresh 5,000, 10,000 or much more E-mail addresses
for few days work. No need anymore to pay for expensive
mailing lists that often are too old or to bulk mail
companies to send your offer to again very often old
mailing lists. Now your success will depend entirely to
you. Along with the extract software you will receive full
instructions how to use it, addresses of more than 2,000
bulletin boards and other places where you can extract.
Plus other helpful information that will make you a great
success. All this will be included as an addition to report
# 1. The software will be as an attachment to the same
report.
————————————————————————————————————
Let’s also assume that the mailing receive only a 0.2%
response (the response could be much better but let’s just
say it is only 0.2%. Also many people will send out
hundreds of thousands e-mails instead of only 5,000 each).
Continuing with this example, you send out only 5,000
e-mails.
With a 0.2% response, that is only 10 orders for report #
1. Those 10 people responded by sending out 5,000 e-mail
each for a total of 50,000.
Out of those 50,000 e-mails only 0.2% responded with
orders. That’s = 100 people responded and ordered Report #
2. Those 100 people mail out 5,000 e-mails each for a total
of 500,000 e-mails. The 0.2% response to that are 1000
orders for Report # 3. Those 1000 people send out 5,000
e-mails each for a total of 5 million e-mails sent out. The
0.2% response to that are 10,000 orders for Report # 4.
Those 10,000 people send out 5,000 e-mails each for a total
of 50,000,000 (50 million) e-mails. The 0.2% response to
that are 100,000 orders for Report # 5.

THAT’S 100,000 ORDERS TIMES $5 EACH = $500,000.00 (half
million).

Your total income in this example is:
1….. $50 +
2….. $500 +
3….. $5,000 +
4….. $50,000 +
5….. $500,000 ……… Grand Total = $555,550.00

NUMBERS DO NOT LIE. GET A PENCIL & PAPER AND FIGURE OUT THE
WORST POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND NO MATTER HOW YOU CALCULATE
IT, YOU WILL STILL MAKE A LOT OF MONEY

—————————————————————————————————
REMEMBER FRIEND, THIS IS ASSUMING ONLY 10 PEOPLE ORDERING
OUT OF 5,000 YOU MAILED TO. Dare to think for a moment what
would happen if everyone, or half or even one 4th of those
people mailed 100,000 e-mails each or more? There are over
250 million people on the Internet worldwide and counting.
Believe me; many people will do just that, and more!

METHOD # 2: BY PLACING FREE ADS ON THE INTERNET
—————————————————————————————–
Advertising on the net is very, very inexpensive and there
are hundreds of FREE places to advertise. Placing a lot of
free ads on the internet will easily get a larger response.
We strongly suggest you start with Method # 1 and add
METHOD # 2 as you go along.

For every $5 you receive, all you must do is e-mail them
the Report they ordered. That’s it. Always provide same day
service on all orders. This will guarantee that the e-mail
they send out, with your name and address on it will be
prompt because they can not advertise until they receive
the report.

Each report should be ordered by its NUMBER & NAME only.

Notes: Always send $5 cash (U.S. CURRENCY) for each Report.
Do NOT send checks… It complicates the process (Do you want to take 1000 five-dollar checks to the bank?) Make sure the cash is covered in at least 2 sheets of paper. On one of those
sheets of paper, write the NUMBER & the NAME of the Report
you are requesting, YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS and your name and
postal address.

Below are the REPORTS to order:

REPORT #1 “The Insider’s Guide to Sending Bulk E-mail on
the Internet” plus the FREE extract software as an
attachment.

ORDER REPORT #1 FROM:

Michael Kaplan

2 Seeley

Oxford Housing

627 Oxford Road

Ann Arbor, MI 48104

USA

REPORT #2 “The Insider’s Guide to Advertising for Free on
the Internet”

ORDER REPORT #2 FROM:

Alex Fradkin

P.O. Box 12990
Stanford, CA 94309
REPORT #3 “The Secrets to Multilevel Marketing on the
Internet”

ORDER REPORT #3 FROM:

Aaron Taylor
14919 S. Appleton Dr.
Oregon City, OR 97045
USA

REPORT #4 ” How to become a Millionaire utilizing the Power
of Multi Level Marketing and the Internet”

ORDER REPORT #4 FROM:

Don Taylor
16869 sw 65th Ave. #344
Lake Oswego, OR 97035
USA

REPORT #5 “How to Send 1,000,000 e-mails for FREE”

ORDER REPORT #5 FROM:

Walter S. Stuart
P.O.Box 4028
Beeville, TX 78104
USA

There are currently more than 250,000,000 people online
worldwide!

YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES

Follow these guidelines to guarantee your success:

If you do not receive at least 10 orders for Report #1
within 2 weeks, continue sending e-mails until you do.

After you have received 10 orders, 2 to 3 weeks after that
you should receive 100 orders or more for REPORT # 2. If
you did not, continue advertising or sending e-mails until
you do.

Once you have received 100 or more orders for Report # 2,
YOU CAN RELAX, because the system is already working for
you, and the cash will continue to roll in!

IMPORTANT: Every time your name is
moved down on the list, you are placed in front of a
different report. You can KEEP TRACK of your PROGRESS by
watching which report people are ordering from you. IF YOU
WANT TO GENERATE MORE INCOME SEND ANOTHER BATCH OF E-MAILS
AND START THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN. There is NO LIMIT to the
income you can generate from this business!!!
____________________________________________________

FOLLOWING IS A NOTE FROM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM:

Follow the program EXACTLY AS INSTRUCTED. Do Not change it
in any way. It works exceedingly well as it is now.
Remember to e-mail a copy of this exciting report after you
have put your name and address in Report #1 and moved
others to #2………..# 5 as instructed above. One of the
people you send this to may send out 100,000 or more
e-mails and your name will be on every one of them.
Remember though, the more you send out the more potential
people you will reach.

So my friend, I have given you the ideas, information,
materials and opportunity.
It’s up to you now!

MORE TESTIMONIALS

“My name is Mitchell. My wife and I live in Chicago.
I am an accountant with a major U.S. Corporation and I make
pretty good money. When I received this program I grumbled
to Jody about receiving ‘junk mail’. I made fun of the
whole thing, spouting my knowledge of the population and
percentages involved. I ‘knew’ it wouldn’t work. Jody
totally ignored my supposed intelligence and few days later
she jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun of her,
and was ready to lay the old ‘I told you so’ on her when
the thing didn’t work. Well, the laugh was on me! Within 3
weeks she had received 50 responses. Within the next 45
days she had received a total of $ 147,200.00 all cash! I
was shocked. I have joined Jody in her ‘hobby’.”
Mitchell Wolf, Chicago, Illinois
——————————————————-
“Not being the gambling type, it took me several weeks to
make up my mind to participate in this plan. But
conservative that I am, I decided that the investment
was so little that there was just no way that I
wouldn’t get enough orders to at least get my money back. I
was surprised when I found my medium size post office box
crammed with orders. I made $319,210.00 in the first 12
weeks. The nice thing about this deal is that it does not
matter where people live. There simply isn’t a better
investment with a faster return and so big.”
Dan Sondstrom, Alberta,
Canada
——————————————————-
“I had received this program before. I deleted it, but
later I wondered if I should have given it a try. Of
course, I had no idea who to contact to get another copy,
so I had to wait until I was e-mailed again by someone
else………11 months passed then it luckily came
again…… I did not delete this one! I made more than
$490,000 on my first try and all the money came within 22
weeks”.
Susan De Suza, New York, N.Y.
——————————————————-
“It really is a great opportunity to make relatively easy
money with little cost to you. I followed the simple
instructions carefully and within 10 days the money started
to come in. My first month I made $ 20,560.00 and by the
end of third month my total cash count was $362,840.00.
Life is beautiful, Thanks to Internet”.
Fred Dellaca, Westport, New Zealand

For the more technical Peoples:

Both examples – the Steve Ballmer and the “Cycle of Wealth” – represent the artificial creation of inflation…only here the inflation rate of the stock (in this case, the emailed reports) is increasing greater than the national inflation rate. Therefore, profit. Also, where the stock stood for nothing, this system actually incorporates the exchange of money for service/product – therein making it LEGAL. Its like if a bank gave you a 50,000 loan and you have to pay it back at 5%. Well, what if you take that 50,000 and put it in a bank which gives you a return of 6% ? In the end, you make 1% of the total loan price profit. In other words $500. Why do you think millionaires, such as Steve Jobs and Steve Ballmer take out loans and mortgages just like us regular folks? Because they realize the “TIME COST OF MONEY.” (I learned that in my Engineering 60: Engineering Economics class before I dropped it). Same here. You are paying homage to a circle of friends who will then pay you homage by further distributing the email and then getting more to join. The thing is though, unlike in other schemes where theres a guy sitting at the top of this, this is a circle: THERE IS NO HIERARCHY!!! No one is at the top and no one is at the bottom. Therefore, hypothetically, if you were to send out the word about this thing and get millions of people to do the same and then the email came back to you, then you could and SHOULD buy into it again just to continue the cycle of wealth for yourself and especially others! Thus, after you’ve already made a shitload of money, you do it again and make a shitload of MORE money and so do the other guys on the list who will do the same. Essentially it’s a nice little circle jerk which continues potentially infinitely.

A lot of people Iv talked to about this have at first called it a pyramid scheme. But in a pyramid scheme the guy at the bottom CAN NOT go to the guy at the top or anyone above him for that matter in search of helping contribute to his wealth. He has to find more and more people to be below him if he wants to profit. But here, there is no “Guy at the Top” – after 5 cycles, the guy who was at number one is no longer on the list! Therefore, he must buy in again in order to start the cycle over to get money for him and the other four people on the list! In other words, in a pyramid scheme, the system cant CIRCLE. There is no cycle of wealth meaning that someone at some point in time will end up being on the bottom. And so at some point there comes a low, and someone loses because they simply run out of resources ( i.e. people to enroll under them).

Yet in the “CIRCLE OF WEALTH” system, you CANT run out of people! There is an unlimited resource of people because you are simply going in one gigantic circle and not a pyramid.

EXAMPLE: If I started at “the top” of the circle (actually there is no top of the circle; I sent 5 dollars to 5 guys I don’t know just to keep the circle going…but now my name is at number 1, and their names are scooted down one…instructions on that are in the email) and had 20 people do the same under me and then put their names at number 1 and my name would be at 2…and then they would do the same and get 20 people under them each (that’s 400 people + 20 original) and then those guys would get 20 more people under them (that’s 20×400 = 8000) and then those 8000 would get 20 more under each of them (20×8000 = 160,000). Then say one fine day, after we’ve all gotten our huge amount of 5 bucks in the mail, the email circles back to one of us…We do it again. WE ARE NOT LIMITED TO ONE GO AROUND. THERE IS NO END TO THE CIRCLE OF WEALTH.

Essentially it becomes like a renewable power source. Imagine if we could just plug in to the sun’s unlimited, renewable power… well it’s the same thing, but MONEY instead of energy. UNLIMITED, RENEWABLE SOURCE OF MONEY!!! You can go to the guy who started the whole thing and say, “oh here you go man, the same email, just different names. You’ve already made a few million. How bout you and everyone else make a few more?” And he answers with a very happy “YES!” So the cycle begins again. YOU CANNOT RUN OUT OF RESOURCES AND POTENTIALLY EVERYONE CAN BE RICH OFF THEIR ASS. It’s the CYCLE OF WEALTH. The ultimate Wheel of Fortune if you will.

Alright, now read the email that I got last week AGAIN and see if you truly understand how it works. Iv run this through that Stanford brain of mine maybe 1000 times and talked to CPA’s, accountants, the US postal office, and Paypal even (who knows the ins and outs of fraud and illegal deal making) and they have all told me that they see NOTHING illegal or fraudulent that would potentially make this cycle not work…unless people aren’t educated enough about how it works and simply don’t join in the circle…but look at me; Im a smart, business driven Stanford student and you know what…IM IN!!! So come on in, join, expand, enrich the circle and start collecting crazy bills. Cause money doesn’t grow on trees…but bananas do. And you can buy a shitload of bananas for 2.4 million dollars…haha

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 15, 2005 12:09 am

    *macsigh*
    I think i’ll write those dresses……and use butyric acid for ink.
    But yeah. Bravo. Bravicimo.
    I feel old.

  2. September 15, 2005 1:10 pm

    f*ing criminy.
    that makes me want to punch things.

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