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kinda feel like I need some Pepto Bismo

August 28, 2004

i’m wondering what I ate to get my stomach so discombulated…

Why is packing so daunting a task? I can’t wait to move in, but I don’t particularly want to pack to do so. I was upstairs, trying to at least get organized so that Thursday when I do most of my packing I can find things. I got as far as cleaning up a gigantic origami mess before I decided I needed a break. It doesn’t help that my room is like a hundred degrees, hundred percent humidity. Or something close too that… I keep making excuses to be down here where there is AC. But I’m taking care of some necessary stuff online right now (checking my email, lj stuff, talking with people on IM) so it’s all good, right?
*laughs*

So the other night at work (while stuffing three million gazillion trillion envelops, or 3000 some…) I had an epiphany! Actually, it wasn’t that big a deal, I just wanted to use that word and an exclamation mark. Haven’t been typing much of those… Anyway yea my realization. I don’t really want a boyfriend. I just want sex. (does that line sound familiar to anyone? *grin*) Okay actually not sex, that was also just for effect. Not ready for that sort of stuff any time soon. But seriously, guys. I don’t really want commitment, and romantic dinners (costing a fortune) and having to cater to his ego, and spending time with him and not my friends, and talking about feelings, and any of that garbage. I also really really don’t want to get hurt, but I spose I can’t avoid that forever… I think what I really want when I say I want a boy is a makeout buddy. I want a friend with benifits. How un-Marie-ish does that sound? I’d like someone to cuddle with, and who’d give me hugs when I’m feeling pissy or down, and to makeout with, ’cause I’ve never experienced it and I hear (more from the gay boys than others…) that it’s great. I just don’t want to have to deal with a real relationship. I spose it’s a good thing, then, that I don’t see on on my horizon. The boys just don’t seem to be interested, and right now that’s cool.
I probably wouldn’t be able to deal with a makeout buddy anyay. I’d end up emotionally attached, without wanting to.
Current position: boys are stupid. Sara agrees. We talked about it, and she said (innocent little SARA SAID) “Boys are only good for sex.” And that is a quote. We decided that men are really only useful for sex, long term. We can fix the car and hold down a job and lift heavy boxes (though we prolly wouldn’t be stupid enough to pack them anyway) and all that other “manly” stuff, and guys are only really necessary for sex.

Moody Blues – “I’m just a singer (in a rock and roll band)”

I’m just a wandering on the face of this earth
Meeting so many people
Who are trying to be free
And while I’m traveling I hear so many words

Language barriers broken
Now we’ve found the key
And if you want the wind of change
To blow about you
And you’re the only other person to know, don’t tell me
I’m just a singer in a rock and roll band.

A thousand pictures can be drawn from one word
Only who is the artist
We got to agree
A thousand miles can lead so many ways

Just to know who is driving
What a help it would be
So if you want this world of yours
To turn about you
And you can see exactly what to do
Please tell me
I’m just a singer in a rock and roll band.

How can we understand
Riots by the people for the people
Who are only destroying themselves
And when you see a frightened
Person who is frightened by the
People who are scorching this earth.

I’m just a wandering on the face of this earth
Meeting so many people
Who are trying to be free
And while I’m traveling I hear so many words

Language barriers broken
Now we’ve found the key
And if you want the wind of change
To blow about you
And you’re the only other person to know, don’t tell me
I’m just a singer in a rock and roll band.

How can we understand
Riots by the people for the people
Who are only destroying themselves
And when you see a frightened
Person who is frightened by the
People who are scorching this earth.

Music is the traveller crossing our world
Meeting so many people bridging the seas
I’m just a singer in a rock and roll band.
We’re just the singers in a rock and roll band.
I’m just a singer in a rock and roll band…

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 29, 2004 8:53 am

    what about love? for holding you close on a cold night.
    for being there when you just need to cuddle?
    for being there when you need someone’s shoulder to cry on cause you best friend started being the biggest *$%&#$% in the world? or are you just gonna go les for that? which is kewl in any event.

  2. August 29, 2004 12:35 pm

    I don’t know what boys are good for, they’ve only made me cry.
    But you do sound very un-Marie-ish.

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